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Disappointment

by Censors

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1.
Can't understand the mystery it's the same shit that I've always seen. Exactly who are you trying to be? I don't know but it's all the same to me. I got that same taste in my mouth like when I threw up off the front porch of your house. We had some good times but somewhere I have got to draw the line. Now you slouch around the streets of your hometown. You think there's no escape, no one that can relate. I recall the years before when we'd walk to the record store, before bed each night I'd always take your call. All I see is you reveling in infamy, embracing a life of thrills that are so fucking cheap. We'll carve our names above the entrance to our adolescense. I'm hopping fences to the school yards where we found friendship. 10 years ago this felt a lot more like home. You used to feel like home.
2.
Before the day is done I hope you understand my son: what I made was not a sacrifice. Wars are never won with a saber and the gun but they're just a fact of life. Endless rain 1968: 'neath the bleeding sky I accept my fate: years of wilderness and hand grenades. All for a country we didn't even need to save. And the bomb blasts they still resonate in my ears as if it was only yesterday. Got your marching orders: it's time to step in line. Taking fire at the border: I can't believe there was fear in your eyes. Your Uncle gave his life, not overseas, but back home in NYC to a bar stool and the memories. It wasn't easy for us all to leave. Put Silver Wings on my son's chest and lay the flag on his coffin when he rests. Lay the flag on my coffin when I rest.
3.
I went from shoreline views to city skylines. From endless summers to unending overtime. These days it's easier to count me out than count me in. The will is still there but I gotta be up at 5 AM. And when I'm crawling through the streets 'cause I'm too shot to keep my feet will passers-by give me a smile or just step right over me? A shell of what I used to be. So mic me up 'cause I just want to play. With all they've taken that's all I've got left to say. All too soon the tattoos fade and you're living off of memories. Telling anyone that listens how you lived through the better days. Every time I missed a step I never thought it would catch up; now I'm flat on my fucking face. There's a line in the sand but the wind is blowing in so I'll keep my pace. No point in slowing down now, just surge ahead in hopes of higher ground. I couldn't tell you how this all began. Just a kid trying to understand the world around me. And now these years, I wouldn't give them back, I've made mistakes but I'm back on track. "Years have passed and I never thought this would be you. You're still caught up in all the same things that you used to do." What's the matter with not growing up if what I have is still enough?
4.
I've been hearing what you're saying, from the start I knew it had to change. This isn't what I signed up for, you made me question everything. Through the years I've had my doubts, but at this point you'll have to drag me out 'cause I won't walk away. Our heartbeats stop with the last note so I'll keep screaming 'til I fucking choke: that's not going to be today. We are going to have our say. You can't make me walk away. Get used to it, we're here to stay. How many times are you going to cross the line? No matter how far you push it, you'll never reach my limit. Realize there's nothing you can do because I'm not about to: start giving up, keep my mouth shut, let the war be won, say I am done. I'm not about to break. And when you pack it up and call it a day, I'll still be here just like yesterday. So walk away 'cause I'm here to stay.

about

Thank You: Chuck and Jon at Gruff Beard Records, Mike "Dumps" Bruno and everybody else at Dead Broke HQ, Jason Lubrano and Righteous Indignation, Sam Gursky, Jake Zimmerman, Barrie Cohn, Tom Malinowski, Gaelen Harlacher, all the bands we've played with, people that have booked us, and the friends we've made through this band, all the people who put effort in to keep the DIY scene going and growing stronger, and everyone who gave a shit about this band from day one and made us feel like we were a part of something.

credits

released July 7, 2011

Recorded & Mixed by Tom Malinowski
Music by Censors
Vinyl available on 7/7/2011 on Gruff Beard Records (gruffbeardrecords.com)

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Censors New York, New York

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